TLDR: Celebrity chef Bobby Flay has walked down the aisle three times, marrying fellow chef Debra Ponzek in 1991, TV host Kate Connelly in 1995, and Law & Order actress Stephanie March in 2005.
All three marriages ended in divorce, and the Iron Chef star now says he’s done with marriage for good, though he’s open to finding a life partner.
Bobby Flay may be a master in the kitchen, but when it comes to keeping a marriage alive, the Food Network star has struggled to find the recipe for success.
The celebrity chef has been married and divorced three times, with each relationship following a familiar pattern of whirlwind romance followed by an inevitable split.
Now in his 60s and single for nearly a decade, Flay has made it clear that marriage is officially off the table.
Speaking on Kristin Cavallari’s podcast “Let’s Be Honest” in October 2024, the Beat Bobby Flay host didn’t mince words about his views on marriage. “For me, it hasn’t been the best situation,” he admitted.
“That said, I don’t feel like I need to do it again. I have an amazing daughter who is 28 years old. I’m not having any more kids as far as I know.” While Flay ruled out another wedding, he confessed he was still “interested in a life partner,” suggesting he hasn’t given up on love entirely, just the legal paperwork that comes with it.
Marriage #1: Debra Ponzek (1991-1993)
Bobby Flay’s first trip to the altar came in 1991 when he married fellow chef Debra Ponzek. The two rising culinary stars met at a Meals-on-Wheels charity event in June 1990, and their connection was immediate and intense.
Within weeks of meeting, they had decided to get married, tying the knot less than a year later on May 11, 1991, at New York City’s iconic Rainbow Room.
Flay was just 26 years old and riding high on the success of Mesa Grill, the Southwestern restaurant that had recently put his name on the culinary map.
The marriage seemed like a match made in food heaven, especially when both Flay and Ponzek were nominated for the prestigious James Beard Foundation Award for Rising Star Chef in 1992. In a romantic gesture, Flay tried to withdraw his nomination to avoid competing against his wife, but the foundation refused.
Ponzek won that year, and the following year when Flay was nominated again, she was the one who proudly presented him with the award when he took home the honor.
Despite the professional success and public displays of support, the marriage couldn’t survive the demands of two high-pressure culinary careers. According to The New York Times, Ponzek wanted her husband home more often than his relentless work schedule would allow.
After just two years of marriage, the couple divorced in 1993. Both moved on quickly, with Ponzek marrying fellow chef Greg Addonizio in 1994, while Flay set his sights on his next relationship.
Marriage #2: Kate Connelly (1995-1998)
If Flay’s first marriage taught him anything about slowing down, he clearly didn’t take the lesson to heart.
In January 1994, while appearing as a guest on Kate Connelly’s Food Network talk show “Robin Leach Talking Food,” sparks flew between the chef and the TV host.
Once again, Flay moved at lightning speed, proposing after just a few months of dating. They married on October 1, 1995, in a ceremony that even their officiant acknowledged was rushed, joking that the wedding would be “short and sweet, unlike their courtship, which was short and hot.”
This marriage brought more to Flay’s life than just a wife. He adopted Connelly’s son Jonathan from a previous relationship, and in 1996, the couple welcomed their daughter Sophie Flay.
For a brief moment, it seemed like the celebrity chef had found the family life that had eluded him in his first marriage.
Sophie would go on to become a broadcast journalist in Los Angeles and has maintained a close relationship with her father, even co-hosting shows with him.
But once again, the marriage couldn’t go the distance. Flay and Connelly separated in 1998, just three years after saying “I do.” Neither party has ever publicly discussed the reasons for their split, choosing to keep the details of their divorce private.
Despite the end of their romantic relationship, they remained committed co-parents to Sophie, who has spoken warmly about both of her parents over the years.
Marriage #3: Stephanie March (2005-2015)
After his second divorce, Flay took a break from the altar for several years. When he did fall in love again, it was with someone from outside the culinary world.
He met actress Stephanie March, best known for her role on “Law & Order: SVU,” on a blind date in 2000, introduced by mutual friend and fellow actress Mariska Hargitay.
The couple dated for four years before Flay proposed, and they married on February 20, 2005, in a grand ceremony at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church in New York that was featured in In Style Weddings magazine.
At first, the marriage appeared to be Flay’s most successful yet.
March enthusiastically supported her husband’s career, helping him expand his restaurant empire. On their fourth wedding anniversary, Flay gifted her a racehorse, a romantic gesture that seemed to signal their strong bond.
They were frequently photographed together at industry events, and March became a fixture in Flay’s professional world.
But cracks began to show as the years went on. When March suffered a ruptured appendix and was rushed to the hospital, Flay reportedly failed to show up.
When their 10th wedding anniversary rolled around, he allegedly skipped that too. By 2015, the marriage had completely unraveled, and the split turned ugly with public accusations flying.
March claimed Flay had been unfaithful multiple times, including an alleged affair with his restaurant hostess Elyse Tirrell. Flay denied the cheating allegations, and the couple issued a joint statement in July 2015 announcing their divorce.
“We have come to an amicable divorce settlement,” they told Us Weekly. “We look forward to putting this difficult time behind us and we ask that you respect our privacy as we move forward.”
Life After Three Divorces
In the years since his divorce from Stephanie March, Bobby Flay has dated several women, including actress Heléne Yorke from 2016 to 2019, but he’s shown no interest in making any of these relationships legally binding.
He’s been single for the past 10 years since his third divorce, and he says he’s more comfortable this way. “I think there’s less pressure,” he explained to Kristin Cavallari. “Once you sign a document that says, ‘You are now together,’ there’s something that changes.
When you try to explain that to people who have never been married, they don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Looking back at his three failed marriages, Flay acknowledges they were all different situations with different outcomes. But there’s one common thread: his pattern of falling hard and fast. His first two marriages came after whirlwind courtships of mere weeks or months.
According to relationship experts, this rush to commitment could be a sign of emophilia, a term describing people who fall in love very quickly and then repeat the process over and over.
These days, Flay seems content focusing on his thriving career, his relationship with daughter Sophie, and keeping his romantic life casual.
While he hasn’t ruled out finding a life partner, the celebrity chef has made one thing crystal clear: Bobby Flay will not be getting married for a fourth time.
